Vows of Love

  1. I promise to not be so harsh on you. I know sometimes I go blind to your efforts and how much you’re trying day to day. You deserve some good love at the end of the day and not a reproval look across the mirror.
  2. I promise to love you how you are, love handles, insecurities, dark circles under the eyes, frizzy hair on winter and spontaneous tears every time you watch movies in airplanes included. You’re great just like that and I couldn’t be happier to share my whole life with someone else rather than you.
  3. I promise to let you choose more often. To stop pushing society’s point of view, the pressure to make money or the fear of failure on every step of the way.
  4. I promise to let you follow your heart and together find/be with that who deserves our craziness. We’re happy enough both together but I’ve noticed you like holding hands, cuddling and breakfasts in couple on weekend mornings… So let’s share that with the right person.
  5. I promise to stop judging you for your bad days, weeks or months. You can’t always be all smiles and that is okay.
  6. I promise to let you stay in more often. No need to go out to that dinner if you don’t feel like it or to clubbing on a Saturday night. Some time with a book and a cup of tea is much needed every once in a while.
  7. I promise to stop making you remember the past. You’ve made such a good job moving on, sorry for sometimes just bringing it all up and making you a ball of tears and nostalgia.
  8. I promise to try to push you out of your pride/ego a bit more often. Come on, send that message, give that call, make that person cookies or just go out for a coffee… Let’s not lose great company to great pride, giving the first step says nothing but good things of you.
  9. I promise to let you sing your lungs out to Adele or T. Swift on a blue Tuesday night without judging you. No questions asked, no reasons needed. Just let it all out.
  10. I promise to do more stupid decisions… That you might regret later. Living is not only about the home runs but also about the striked and fouls, we might learn something at the end or just wake up with a huge moral hangover.
  11. I promise to let you wander around without destination. Travel, discover, make friends that will last for a day but that will give you dope life advice. Fly away and leave, go to a new place, repeat. Be free.
  12. I promise to take care of your heart. There’s nothing more vulnerable than that and still I know how you hand it out to those that look in the need of some love. How many times did it end up broken or messed up? And how many rejected? I know you regret none but it’s time to start living a bit less recklessly.
  13. I promise to fill your life with verses, music and colors. Feed your mind and soul, give you tunes to dance at random moments when you think no one’s dancing and enough material to turn over a grey day to a parade.
  14. I promise to go to the gym a bit more often, not so much about appearance but to keep you healthy and pumped up for whatever challenge pops up into your brain next.
  15. I also promise to eat healthier…. But also never forget to treat yourself every once or twice in a while.

    I guess you figured out to whom this love vows are, and I feel it’s so important to sometimes remember to be nice to yourself. Throughout many ups anf downs I’ve found out we can be our own worst enemy and it’s so terrible to have someone dragging you down all day, every day. No, no, no… 

    Probably I could think of more but I’m on s bus on my way to the south and I’m getting a bit dizy from staring at the screen… Shame on me making myself dizzy. 

    16. I promise to be more conscious about my car sickness in long rides.

    Have a beautiful weekend and treat yo’self. I for sure will!!! 

    Nostalgia for Her

    28c4411cddb61af9740f61a11d6c60d6.jpgnostalgia (noun): a sentimental longing or wistful affection for a period in the past.

    I wake up at 4:00am in the morning by the voice of my elder sister, as soon as I see her red face and her puffy eyes I know something is wrong, very very wrong. Her lips open but words don’t come out right at the moment, I stare blankly and think about the worst… Thing is I was wrong, what came out of her mouth was THE worst. 

    “Mom is not with us anymore”

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    Share the Light

    65321202I’ve been quite busy lately. I’m finally sort of done with (almost) all of my tough courses in university so I got overexcited about having a tiny spec of free time and decided to join every possible extracurricular activity I had interest in. This took me back to my high school years when my mom would be exasperated by the amount of things I got myself into and would ask me “Do you really need to do all this!?” and I would go “But but… MOOOM”. The funny thing about now is that I have no one to keep track of my activities so I just went all out. For this same reason I have not found much time to paint or write blogs, though now I’m keeping a mini journal (nothing interesting really, just me babbling whatever is in my mind)

    Aside from the fact of trying to keep myself together during the week and enjoying  my (still sort of busy) weekends, everything has been sweet. All though now I understand one of the reasons my mom got so stressed about me and my everything activities… THEY-REQUIRE-SO-MUCH-MONEY. I’m literally broke as I can get right now… but it’s okay. Who needs money… haha… or stability, right?

    So now, let’s get down to what I was thinking to write about…

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    Yo Te Elijo

    Con tanto Pokémon Go apareciendo en mi newsfeed lo primero que pensé al escribir este título fue “BULBASAUR YO TE ELIJO” sin embargo esto no tiene nada que ver con Pokémon (y así fue como la mitad de las personas cerraron mi post después de leer eso… rayos). Este post tiene un toque más dulce, algo de sonrisas, mucho de cursilerías y una canción en repeat.

    92e5ff47e564cbcf3aea658eb1f6922cCreo que más de una vez he comentado mi fascinación y alegría al observar a una pareja de viejitos caminando por la calle tomados de la mano. Mi pareja favorita hasta el momento ha sido una que me encontré en el Riverside Park un día que andaba corriendo. Se trataba de esta viejita en bicicleta que iba más lento que una persona joven caminando y este viejito que iba “trotando” sin camisa a su lado. En un punto el señor paró y ella dejó de pedalear para pasarle agua, a esto él la miró, sonrío y sin más palabras siguieron su camino. Hubo algo en ese momento sin palabras del cual fui stalker espectadora que me susurró que esto ya era una rutina, de la cual los dos disfrutaban.

    Sin embargo también me rodean y he visto muchos casos relaciones que no duran más que unos cuantos meses, divorcios después de unos cuantos años de matrimonio o después de muchos años, lo que me ha llevado a preguntarme ¿cuál es la clave secreta? He visto suficientes películas y Facebook posts que hablan de detalles románticos como serenatas, flores sorpresas, un Play Station nuevo y el Fifa del año, vida sexual activa, regalar toda la línea de labiales MAC, saber cocinar, tener la sonrisa de James Dean, nunca ponerle nombre a la relación/nunca casarse… Pero ¿quién dice esto? Nadie quita que sea un hombre divorciado y despechado que vive con sus 5 gatos o una mujer que nunca ha estado en una relación seria.

    Así que me fui por lo que creí más sabio y le pregunté a algunas de las parejas que han sobrevivido los años, problemas, falta de dinero, enfermedades, la pubertad de sus hijos, la celulitis, la calvicie y quien sabe cuantas cosas más… y la respuesta se resume en tres cosas: aceptar, renunciar, elegir. 

    Aceptar que no siempre tenemos la razón y aceptar que aunque a veces tengamos la razón es mejor dejar eso de lado por el bien de la relación o el bienestar de la otra persona. Muchas veces somos tercos, terquísimos (¿existe ese término?) y estamos acostumbrados a discutir mejor que un abogado o un político… pero ¿vale la pena? Además es fácil que nuestro ego nos cegue y no nos deje ver puntos más lógicos y realistas… Si, a veces debemos aceptar que no necesitamos un trampolín adentro del pequeño departamento o a veces tenemos que asentir, abrazar y dejar que la otra persona CREA que tiene la razón.

    Renunciar a la perfección, ya que no existe en este mundo humano. Uno de los errores más grandes al comenzar una relación es pensar que podemos hacer que la otra persona cambie, o “ajustarle” esos detallitos que no nos agradan a traves del camino. Si es cierto que podemos impulsar a la otra persona a ser mejor (y viceversa, lo cual es maravilloso), no podemos andar creyendo que es un proyecto que tenemos que terminar o mejorar. Nadie cambia por otra persona, el cambio se genera dentro de nosotros mismos y por elección propia. Por eso, como me dijo una mujer muy sabia “No hay persona sin defectos, por eso necesitas amar y cuidar a aquella con los defectos con los que podás vivir día a día y quien sabe… hasta a veces disfrutarlos.” Después agregó que sí andaba buscando alguien perfecto iba a morir sola y hasta sin gatos… pero no creo que deba agregar eso a la cita.

    Elegir amar, respetar, cuidar a esa persona día a día. Cada mañana cuando uno se despierta, puede decidir TODO (o bueno, mucho… a veces no tengo más elección que desayunar avena)… y dentro de eso está ser y dar lo mejor a esa persona especial. Porque si bien ds cierto que los sentimientos no son algo que se puede controlar, nuestras acciones (que son las que los demuestran) sí están a decisión. Yo he llegado a la teoría que no decidimos con quien conectamos, pero llega un punto en el que estamos al borde del precipicio de enamorarnos y vemos hacia abajo, tenemos un milisegundo para decidir sí saltamos a lo desconocido o nos quedamos seguros en el borde… Por eso, todo se trata de apegarnos a esa decisión de haber saltado, recordar lo que nos llevo a dejar lo seguro por la posibilidad de lo desconocido y disfrutar de esa elección que bien podría ser la mejor que hemos tomado…

    Así que hoy los invito a aceptar, renunciar y elegir. Dejar de lado todas esas cosas negativas que van destruyendo algo tan bonito como el lazo que se forma entre dos personas que se entienden sin mucho decir, que logran soportar esos defectitos y hasta encontrarles el lado bonito, que hablan por horas de trivialidades sin sentir el tiempo pasar… y hasta logran ceder el último pedazo de pizza sin sentir (tanto) dolor.

    Creo que todo lo que quiero decir es que los invito a querer: a querer sin egoísmos, sin mentiras, sin miedos… sin miedo al mañana porque cada mañana sabrás que “yo te elijo”.

    PS: igual, nadie dice que está mal los detalles románticos mencionados al principio, es más supongo que todo colabora a la relación para bien… pero las relaciones reales no se basan en momentos de Hollywood, las mejores fotos de pareja, el mejor regalo de San Valentín, etc… todo va más allá. ¿No creen?

    Haters Gonna… Do Nothing

    I know it’s been a while, I do not actually have an excuse though. So let’s skip that part and just tell you that I am doing really really REAAALLY GOOD… So good it is actually scary since I’ve been sold the idea (from tragic poems mostly) that after a great happiness comes great sorrow, but let’s hope not and just enjoy every tiny second of happiness.

    For the moments I am in Bogotá, Colombia spending my first week of vacation and as part of my mini South America tour. Next destination? Chile. For those who don’t know, I am half Chilean, but I have not ever been to Chile before so this trip is really special.

    I’ve been living all my life with lots of shades of the Chilean culture, my mom (even though I believe that by the end she loved Honduras more) couldn’t let go of Chile. We ate Chilean food on some Sundays, empanadas could not miss on September, she would sing Violeta Parra at the top of her lungs and read Isabel Allende (though I do not remember she liked books much, but she did read Isabel Allende for the sake that she was also Chilean), she hanged out a lot with other Chilean… we ate bread more than tortilla, all our house decorations where from Chile, there was a whole revolution when they removed the Chilean channel from our television cable, etc etc. (I guess you get the idea) So now, I am going to the place where all this originated, part of my roots and most of all: I have a small family, back in Honduras but I also have a not so small family in Chile, the type you call for every Christmas and birthday… and now is the time to meet them for the first time.

    So, basically I will be going back to my roots… or something like that (it sounds so dramatic)

    Until now, Colombia has been quite something. I really like it and it is my first stop after 10 months of being in Taiwan so… it has been quite a change and: I LOVE IT. I will be writing about this trip and other things related to traveling sometime soon. (including a guide of how to stop being afraid of being broke and just run away, save a bit, get some tickets, and have the time of your life)

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    Something I hate/love about traveling are the long layovers, this trip’s are waaay better than last year’s though, still I have had some time to get inside my mind, think of weird things, and try to make them sound interesting and philosophical and wise in this blog (yeah, I notice that double and no, I am not taking it away since that’s how I said it in my mind)… So, let’s try and with this I call started my summer which will  be (hopefully) full of painting, blogging, eating, running, watching kids’ shows with my niece, enjoying my family and bestest friends, and all of the same time missing my Taiwan life (other thing I want to write about… this weird limbo of being back home but missing the other home a bit).

    (ufff… what a long intro, sorry guys I’ve been missing you too, my fellow readers!)


    You know what my favorite type of people are? The ones I can go for hours and hours talking about everything and nothing, ignoring the clock, what society dictates we should think, etc. No wonder, why my boyfriend “complains” of me not letting him sleep (even though a conversation needs a two side participation, just saying) and no wonder why with my best friends we can send inbox that are half meter long, great Skype talks that last longer than expected, go for “quick” lunch dates that last over three hours, or be lying down next to each other knowing we have to sleep and all of a sudden: oh! 4am. And with lots of these people we have commented about something I will summarize in a sentence: We live in a society of chairs, tags, and background noise.

    anigif_enhanced-27156-1430362044-2

    What do I mean with this? Well, we live in a world of persons who sit down, tag other ones trying to enclose a whole human being in a single word, and their whole collaboration and comments are nothing but critics which won’t help others grow up but actually want to do the contrary, therefore… nothing but background noise.

    Let’s start by the first part… a society of people who sit down. Now, there’s tons of things going around our world, from social problems to big opportunities that would change your life in a split of a second, from hungry people in your local park, to trips to travel. And in here I am talking about BIG things, since you do not actually have to be a social activist, a travel junky, or move to the other side of the world to start a new life. Sometimes it is all about helping the mother with the baby carriage go down the stairs, wash the dishes without being asked, clean your room, start that paper today rather than 10 hours before the deadline, and so on. It is all about having the initiative for something better, something that by the end benefits you more than others because giving, starting, moving, makes you grow. But nowadays we have this tiny voice inside our mind who tells us “Why bother? It is not my problem. Someone else will do it. It won’t make a difference” and that is when we fall into the pile of the majority and sit down staring our lives go by and not moving a finger.

    And you know what happens with the tumblr_matnz77rkx1r6ubhwo1_500people that do not do anything with their own lives? They become bore and that’s when they find other’s lives way too interesting… enough to go inside and just try to mess up around or comment about it. So, it is normal that once you start doing something different other people will talk about it, not necessarily nicely but do not even dare to let them stop you… actually, it just means you are doing something good, something different, DOING SOMETHING.

    Secondly, and this one I might actually go further in other blog post, TAGS. This I can also explain using the box imagery, we normally try to close up someone’s personality in a single word or description… which is like trying to put an elephant inside a cereal box. As humans, we are so vast that the insides of our heads are a universe itself, and also we are in constant change (for good or for bad)…

    rs_500x278-131003121718-mean-girls-15

    Still, we seem surprised when someone does not act according to their tag, when we see “the geek” out having a beer, when the girl we call among our friends “the nun” goes to a party and looks stunning with makeup and a dress, when “the brains” of the class fails a test or the contrary, when “the not so smart” kid of the class gets a good grade and our first conclusion is that he/she cheated. But why is that? Why we try to enclose a universe in something so small? Why do we do this to ourselves as well?


    To ourselves? How?
    Well, it might be from something small as to the music we listen to… maybe we belong to the “metal group” and all of a sudden this song of Jason Mraz just cliques-funny-girls-lunch-mean-favim-com-237089_largeseems to stick into our heads and we start singing it on the shower and we feel it is not right. Or the first time we fail a test after being a straight A+ student and we think our life is over and all of a sudden you do not consider yourself smart anymore.

    Tags are too small to define a person… today we can be smiling and throwing flowers at people, tomorrow we might not feel like it, maybe I like to read classics and watch TED talks by the dozen, but at the same time I will laugh at stupid jokes and have a beer at a bar while dancing nonsensically with my friends. Maybe you have a “bitch resting face” but love kids and are the sweetest aunt/baby sitter/mom/child kidnapper (okay, maybe not the last one). We do not have to fit in a word, in a group, close ourselves inside an imaginary barrier. You be you, an whoever does not understand it… well, they can go mind other business.

    Last, background noise… this istumblr_n4v8ps8uxy1qj4315o1_500 something I’ve noticed since some years ago. This type of people who when they open their mouths what comes out is not productive at all… people who talk about other people, or people who like to critic but not to make others become better but the contrary. Small talk is something I can stand and even enjoy for a while, it is even my “usual talk” with some people but when small talk transforms into words full of bad intentions… well, to stop from punching people I just tend to space out and let them be what they really are: background noise.

    And do not take me wrong, I am no Miss Only-Good-Intention-Deep-Talk-Full-Of-Meaning… pfff, I am human too and I have fallen into these talks more than once or twice. When I realize though, I feel a bit ashamed since wasting words and time into something with no purpose or cause it is sort of pitiful… and I guess you have also, since we are all humans and well, we do mess up things a bit from time to time… but at least we realize. don’t we?

    The thing is, that there is people that for them this is the usual talk. They live to criticize other people, they feed from negativity and they believe that bringing others down or making them feel less worthy will improve their own value. And the only thing I can tell you is that once you cross path with this type of persons: RUN AWAY. And if you cannot (sometimes they are impossible to escape) well, zoom out, think about your grocery shopping list, nod, smile, and move on. Do not let their comments sink into your soul, do not let their words cross your heart, do not let them feed from your beautiful soul.

    But… what happens if youfeel the giphymajority are like this? Are you the one who steps over what is normal and do not belong? Yes. Are you wrong then? No. Are you the only one? Of course not… and that is the beautiful thing of meeting people with similar ideas, people who inspire you, motive you, and wake up respect and admiration from you. Because then, you realize that you might be weird, that you need to space out and play an Elvis Presley song in your head while someone is talking making background noise more often than what you would like… but meeting these other persons just makes it all worth it. So, appreciate these amazing human beings, embrace your nature of growing, thinking, making a difference… and continue being you, because you do you beautifully.


    1_gifI tend to write positive things, but I do know not everything in this world is roses and positivity, so the purpose of this post is to let you (beautiful human beings) understand that sometimes it is not you the problem. Sometimes you cannot solve the problem… because sometimes the problem might be the person standing next to you who just… does not tick the right way for you. And there is nothing wrong in not liking someone, taking distance, or just blocking them from Facebook, moving to other country and changing your name to escape from them (kidding, do not do that… or do that if the country is pretty… and invite me to come over)

    Art & Feelings (from the inside)

    Some days ago I was talking with a friend of how happy I am lately: All smiles, staring at the sky and shaping the clouds in my mind, singing while biking in the street, all sunshine… and the first thing he told me (to my surprise) was that he was hoping I wouldn’t stop writing and painting due to all this happiness.

    I’ve already commented in other posts my belief that the best art comes from the biggest sorrows. Maybe it is our desesperation to free our soul at least from something, to throw away a bit of all the things that we are carrying… maybe it is all the things we want to scream but we don’t dare to say. It is easy to scream to the world how happy we are but we tend to hide our sadness and well… that sinks the soul to the point we have to do something or else we’ll drown and that is when art comes to the rescue.

    But…

    What happens when happiness is so overwhelming we want to get it out? What happens when the butterflies fill your chest and you have to tear yourself open or else you’ll explode? What happens when everything seems brighter and you want to capture a moment forever?

    Art happens. 

    These last couple of months I’ve been keeping a careful record of the drawings I do and when I do them… Am I feeling happy? Have I just hung up from a two hour phone call with that someone? Have I had a bad day because nostalgia decided to visit? And everytime I draw I wrote what I was thinking or feeling…

    So let’s get a bit personal… follow me to a small tour around my mind these past months.

    (though, sometimes drawings are not so much about me but what surrounds me… countless times I’ve seen something in the streets while I ride bike and ended up writing or drawing about it)

    1517626_10154009139921948_4899726402216509845_n“Oh, you fill my lungs with sweetness and you fill my head with you”

    Bloom – Paper Kites was playing on Spotify in repeat while I was drawing this. Why am I even playing this song in repeat? Oh no…

    Then the lyrics get stuck to me and I am getting tired of it… it’s been a couple of weeks without drawing and I think I am in one of those “inspirational breaks”. But all of a sudden I feel the need to show what I am feeling so I grab my pen and it starts. A girl with her lungs full of butterflies (because having a stomach full of butterflies is too mainstream)… and in her head, or well in her hair, we see this lonely fox staring at the far moon. When all of a sudden this butterfly touches his nose and… loneliness is not so lonely anymore.

    I was watching Sia’s Carpool 12885843_10154017548201948_3561206874277318735_oKaraoke when she started singing Elastic Heart. I just found her song so powerful that I HAD to do something. I went to read the lyrics and played it a couple of times. When this picture came to my mind… A girl with her heart being teared away… but not just that but her heart is made of ink which turns into birds… which are the same birds who are then fighting for her heart. I know, it sounds crazy… but this is actually my interpretation of a love that turns harmful. It is something that was part of your heart before… but then it starts hurting you. And since love is blind she has her eyes covered with a bandage which at the end if we watch closely (in the real life vesion it is easier to decipher this) is a bandage made of the words “Love Love Love”.

    12928217_10154053946776948_3819573433392966708_nI also did this one with a song! Fever To The Form – Nick Mulvey. But I think this one was more about the rythm than the lyrics… It got me to think of the sea, I do not know why. And then that made me think of the beach… which lead me to think of being in the beach with someone… which lead me to think of love.

    I believe falling in love is not actually falling in love, falling in love is diving in love. I think that we have no choice on which persons we connect with or we are attracted to, but falling in love is taking that step of jumping in. And loving someone normally is not easy, since it involves getting close to them and attaching. So this is why this drawing has a tiny woman at the border of a plank ready to dive in, into a sea (the other person’s mind) full of unknown monsters (the other person’s fears), waves (the other person’s mood), mermaids (past lovers), with the only salvation of a tiny boat (hope)… So I tried to capture that exact moment when you look down and you see all this, but still take the leap and… yeah.

    Delilah – Florence and the Machine. This12670691_10154036504796948_6364641904746468129_n one is a drawing someone asked me to do, well… they picked the song. I love Florence and the Machine so I was happy to do so. Delilah is a song which makes me think of someone wanting to be set free… in addition to the strength of Florence’s voice and the crazy (amazing) video I could not do anything but use red a red pen and draw all these faces screaming to be set free, to be saved…. Then I thought of the soul rising when being set free and a the eternal wave of thoughts that fills a person’s mind… so I drew the woman on top being held by some strings and her hair falling down creating some sound waves representing the strength of her demons (with demons I don’t mean literal demons) inside her mind… (please, don’t think I am crazy)

    12933023_10154056320001948_8978227702152735960_nThis one I did it on the bus on our way to Chiayi, the time we climbed up Alishan to watch the sunrise. There was something (someone) going on my mind for a long time already and I just wondered what would my mother think about it (him) so I thought the biggest question I have since five years ago “Are you here?” and I answered myself through the drawing in the stars which spell “I’M HERE” and with the mother fox sleeping inside the moon while her tiny fox is resting besides her grave under a tree. (This one is easier to explain and understand than the others, SEE! I am not THAT crazy)

    13063013_10154114160501948_4659815133247301543_oIt’s been a while since I’ve been writing and drawing about love, right? So… this time I tried to draw about it again but with a whole different point of view: a happy one. This time there is also a song involved (Oh, so unexpected) but this one is in Spanish (ha, that was actually unexpected!) Espacio Sideral – Jesse & Joy which talks about loving someone and feeling all these nice things. So… remember the girl with butterflies from the first drawing? Well, I drew her as a doll this time… and she is openning her chest (exactly where her heart is) and butterflies are coming out to this crazy world. Then in the background we see some mini-me’s doing some crazy stuff such as reaching for the stars, swinging on the moon, climbing Saturn, walking under the rain and tanning on the sun. So… we could say this is the representation of the bubbly feeling of love in Ericka style.

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    Last but not least, I bring to you my first drawing in full color after a while (which is also my own statement of a new phase, a new beginning)… Fire and Ice, Sun and Moon, Explosions and Calmness, Day and Night, see it however you want to see it, I just believe it is two souls meeting… The red fox representing all this wild things while the blue fox representing something more calm, so we can see that the blue fox is placing his nose in the… “forehead” of the other fox in a way of saying “there, there… here I am, calm down”. Which I guess can be what some people with chaos going inside there minds is all they need to hear from the right person on the right time.


    So, yeah… these are some of the drawings I’ve been doing lately and some of the things that have been around my mind. What I want to say with all this is 1. Yes, I told you I am crazy. 2. Yes, I told you I’ve been drawing what comes up to my mind lately. 3. There is no NEED for sadness to get artsy… I believe we just need an overwhelming feeling. Positive, or negative.

    So, happy Ericka, sad Ericka, angry Ericka, in love Ericka, lonely Ericka, super excited Ericka, frustrated Ericka, all of them can create art. (except Finals and Midterms and Projects Ericka, I hope she doesn’t because I do not want Failing Ericka to appear this semester).

    Hope you enjoyed this and do not think I have to go to a psychologist!

    Art is what the Heart speaks… and I believe all our hearts are able to speak more than sadness.

     

     

    ¿A Qué Vinimos?

    Por veces me tiro en mi cama y no quiero hacer absolutamente nada. NADA. Así que hago lo único que se puede hacer cuando uno no quiere hacer algo productivo pero no se quiere sentir una cosa inútil en este universo tampoco: pensar/analizar/filosofar/fingir que uno entiende el porqué de las cosas. Y esta entrada viene de esos pequeños momentos en que veo al techo de mi cuarto fijamente y pasan los minutos…

    Estaba hojeando uno de mis cuadernos para dibujar (descubrí hace poco que tengo 10 cuadernos de dibujar en uso, ninguno completo y todos comenzados… Ay Ericka) y me divirtió leer la primera página de este decía algo como “Pinté, Huí, Amé, Erré, Viví” o algo por el estilo… y eso me llevó al túnel infinito de pensar ¿para qué estamos en este mundo?

    Yo no creo haber nacido para ser astronauta… me gustaría ver el espacio exterior y apreciar las constelaciones en su esplendor, salir de este mundo cuadrado y tener una visión más amplia de lo que hay más allá pero no creo que nací para formar parte de la NASA. Tampoco me imaginé en ningún punto siendo doctora, sueño con salvar vidas y sanar a aquellos que necesitan ser sanados , pero ¿doctora? No… no es lo mío. Y tampoco me imagino de presidenta de mi país aun cuando me encantaría ser un agente de bien en la sociedad y hacer una diferencia en mi país… pero tampoco me puedo imaginar dando la cara por decisiones que no son solo mías si no de MUCHAS personas con muchas diferentes intenciones.

    …Mucho menos vine para pasar encerrada en una oficina por el resto de mis días, o para ser alguien que viva en un ciclo de rutina que no haga más que volverme vieja y amargada. Pero ahora viene la pregunta mayor ¿entonces a qué vine a este mundo?

    Pues, hasta hace unos días eso era un gran: no sé (y aún sigue siendo, en parte) pero debo confesarles que una simple imagen de Pinterest ha cambiado mi punto de vista de mi propósito en el mundo… si, una imagen. Y se las comparto:

    0dbe2b551ba23199fbce7a31a7a782b4.jpg

    Las cosas que nos apasionan no son casualidades, son nuestro llamado.

    Vine para encerrarme en mis pensamientos y encontrar las galaxias adentro de mí misma y luego intentar retratarlas en canvas, papel, madera, en cualquier superficie vacía que se me cruce en el camino. Vine a sanar corazones que al ver lo que pinto o leer lo que escribo se sientan un poco menos solos y sepan que hay alguien como ellos (igual de loco, igual de solo, igual de impulsivo, igual de raro). Vine a demostrar (sobre todo demostrarme a mí misma) que no importa de donde venimos, no importa sí es un país tercermundista donde las tragedias son el pan de cada día, podemos aún ser positivos y seguir adelante y quien sabe… de esta manera y con la ayuda de muchas otras manos, muchos otros locos, muchas otras ideas hacer un cambio.

    Y la cosa está en eso: que TODOS venimos a lo mismo. TODOS venimos a hacer una diferencia, a cambiar vidas, a sanar corazones, crear momentos, generar ideas, comenzar movimientos (aún sí ese movimiento consista en uno que consista de una sola persona: uno mismo). Creer que venimos para algo menor a hacer algo GRANDE es conformarse con una idea mediocre. Creer que no servimos para nada es desperdiciar el recurso más valioso del mundo: el tiempo. Dejar que la sociedad nos diga que solo somos uno más del millón, una pieza más en el tablero es dejar la vida pasar y quedar atrapados en una vil mentira.

    Venimos este mundo a darle vuelta a las cosas, a hacer desastres y resolverlos, a enseñar y aprender, a ser artistas (y no me refiero a sólo aquellos del mundo del arte sino a cualquier ente capaz de crear algo), a pensar y compartir nuestros pensamientos. Venimos a crear momentos y compartirlos con miles, desde el “buenos días” al chófer del bus, los aplausos en un salón de graduación, las lagrimas al nacimiento de un nuevo ser, el descubrimiento de la cura a una enfermedad, el despertar al lado de esa persona, la celebración por un partido de fútbol, los momentos de soledad con uno mismo donde dejamos olvidado el celular y el reloj en la casa.  Venimos a dejar una huella, sin importar sí la huella que dejamos es en un paseo de Hollywood, una sala de los Nobel o en el corazón de aquellos que conozcamos y un día cuando ya no estemos nos recuerden con una sonrisa en los labios.

    Venimos a hacer una diferencia.

    Lo más bonito de todo esto, es que cada quien viene a lo mismo pero lo puede lograr de maneras diferentes. Porque cada uno tiene algo que le hace latir el corazón más fuerte, algo que hace que los ojos le brillen y la mente se le escape a un lugar que no se llega más que a través de hacer lo que uno ama. Y he ahí la clave: encontrar la pasión propia. Y una vez encontrada, serle fiel, amarle y dedicarle cada preciado momento que sea posible, sin olvidarse de compartirla con el mundo pues una luz que se refleja en millones es mucho más linda que una encerrada en un frasquito abajo de nuestra cama.

    Y no importa lo que sea: los números, los animales, el arte, las películas, la historia, la escritura, la construcción, la computación, los experimentos con químicos explosivos, la cocina, los idiomas, el maquillaje, los discursos, la comida, las ciencias, los juegos, el deporte, las demás personas, la política, el canto, la enseñanza, el aprender, la poesía… LO QUE SEA. No hay pasión tonta mientras esta te lleve a ser lo que siempre has sido: una pieza única en este gran universo de estrellas.

    Porque una vez que hacemos lo que amamos, nunca más seremos uno más del montón.


    Hasta el día de hoy mi pasión es el arte. Me siento bendecida de poder seguirla (a mi manera, pero seguirla)… pero somos seres humanos y pasamos cambiando así que quien sabe… tal vez mañana me despierto y me doy cuenta que mi pasión es la crianza de pingüinos y me mudo al Polo Sur. Pero mientras siga lo que amo creo que voy en buen camino.